10th february 2015

Today i was at a doctor appointment to do some blood pressure tests and the nurse said i looked like “an anorexic little boy”, which pissed me off a great bit, enough to pay for a month of gym time and did my first above waist session, same as on my prior experiment although 4.5 repetitions instead of 8 like i used to do at the end there. I wanted to start and go in with a bang but not cripple myself in the process… I’ll show that chubby bitch who I’m probably never going to meet or hear from again who looks like an anorexic little boy….

Oh, it went all fine by the way, and tomorrow iäm doing my first leg+arms day.

6th february 2015

So an update, I’m doing fine, my chest doesn’t hurt at all and i guess I’ve gotten used to how i look post op.

Today i went to the gym to try to test my body and see what i could do and not, and to my surprise i could do everything on my old schedule without any chest pain so I’m thinking of starting he workout schedule again, possibly a bit changed because i’m still considering wither i should swim or just do the gymming because I’m in a bit of a time constraint.

Anywho that’s my update for the moment, when i figure out what to do i will consider how much to update. 🙂

New year

I haven’t written anything since last time, with good reason, i was living in a state between panic and hopefulness right after the surgery, I’m starting to realize that this is who I am and will be and there’s not much you can do about it but to try to understand that my body is this way and the only thing i can do to improve it is to work on myself. So i started very light training today, doing 30 sit ups and 30 push ups and a few back extensions, everything on my cushioned sofa just to maximize safety, and I’m thinking i should do this sort of regiment every day for a week and see if my body is reacting negatively, if not then i can start doing something more until i’m at full strength and back to a regular training schedule.

Update 2 days post nuss removal

Phew, i cannot believe how much has happened in 3 years, I took my first shower since removing the nuss bar and had my first real look at the results.

I don’t know what to say yet since i feel I’m still in shock just as after the first surgery, getting used to how you look was a hard thing before and sure is going to be now aswell, i kind of liked how i looked just before the removal, and Seeing myself now its very hard to know how I’m actually supposed to look like. Since the removal my chest has sunk in a bit, i cannot deny that, and so far i have only heard my father say that it looks like it sunk in a bit but that i look “not un-normal”, I’m a bit panicky still and i have to try to relax and deal with this, now is literally the time to start trying to live with myself again and i should be happy its over and that I’m in a recuperating period. It is hard though, both relaxing physically and mentally after this big ordeal. What i know for sure though is that i cannot wait until it doesn’t hurt anymore so i can start training again, because when i’m finally able to start working on my body again i can probably start getting comfortable with my body quicker and easier, because its like my sculpture to sculpt and I want to look as good and normal as possible after all of this.

I don’t really know how i feel right now as i’m very anxious and it feels like time is at a still because i want time to fly by so i can get healthy. But as long as i feel i look normal enough i guess it’s fine for the moment.

half a day post op

Just arrived back home, incredibly tired and achy.

Here’s a pic a few minutes before going into surgery:

Here’s one i just snapped getting home. 🙂

doesn’t really say much I know but I’m so very very tired right now and I really want to work out, priorities much?

A little more than an hour to go

And I’m nervous for sure, i just want it to get done now. three whole years of waiting and this last time is nerve wracking. 🙂

One day to go until surgery

Sorry, my mind hasn’t been into the same routines since this weekend. i got a massive cold and had to rest, and do everything possible to try to cure myself enough to do the surgery tomorrow, I feel heaps better at the time of writing this but not near 100% yet, my plan is to try to fake being healthy so i can get the surgery over with basically. 😉

No not really its to get as healthy as possible today, period.

Not gonna lie, i am very nervous and just want it to get over with now, its been so long I need to get this over with. I took a picture yesterday as usual but since my mind wasn’t really into it and i sort of slacked with my diet this weekend due to the cold i want to be honest and say that i haven’t been up to par with the diet, and being sick i couldn’t fuss about a good enough picture so its really fussy and probably won’t give anything because of the circumstances.

Well that sucked!

Its Sunday night and I’m still sick, right now my priorities has gone from a couple of last gym sessions before the surgery into being spry enough to be admitted to surgery. All i can do now is to rest, keep warm and keep hopes up.

Waking up with a cold

So i woke up feeling even worse today, went to store because i wanted an monster energy drink no carbs, was so much in a lull that i bought the wrong one, one actually containing sugar, felt like an idiot at the register but that only proves that I’m to sick to do some training today, sorry future me, but with 5 days until surgery i cannot afford anything going wrong and working out with a cold is more dangerous than rewarding. I will go take a long sauna to try to sweat as much of it out as possible though, maybe that will make me feel better.

day 55 end

Today was another weird day for me, i started out by taking a short run tot he store when i woke up to buy lots of vegetables for dinners so i don’t have to eat any carbs at dinner time, and some green tea because i was all out of it for my breakfast. Took an easy day either way because my stomach was screwed up again, missed an appointment i had because my mind was in other places all day.

after dinner i went to take my swim, and it went great, i actually noticed that my knees aren’t hurting at all anymore, and it feels great actually knowing that. I remember getting  knee pains after the first day of this little experiment and getting sort of down because of that, but here I am, less than a week until surgery and my body is feeling great, and i can only imagine that it’s going to be even better. 🙂